Breaking Up

9 Jul

Breaking up is hard to do!

In novel 1 of the Mr. Right Series, Julia’s finds herself working through a painful break-up with a Mr. Wrong. In the chapter Girl Talk, her mother shares some valuable insights regarding relationships with the opposite sex.

As I have pointed out in previous posts, dating as we see it today often has little to do with finding and keeping a marriage partner. A dating mentality is typically about enjoying the moment with someone; a marriage mentality, however, is about building a life with someone.

Our society is full of couples who have experienced a devastating break-up (or are heading for one in the near future). Usually at least one of the people involved in a break-up ends up being deeply hurt.

When I was in high school, my girlfriends all had steady boyfriends. I didn’t. God was protecting me during a time when I was immature and vulnerable, but I didn’t understand that then. I just felt alone and forgotten.

Trying to help me, my friends fixed me up with someone to date. He was a nice guy, so even though I wasn’t all that attracted to him, I dated him for a while—just to have a boyfriend. When his feelings for me grew beyond what I could return, I dumped him, without any explanation.

While I came away from that relationship without any hurt feelings, I had broken his heart. I can think of one other time when I dated a guy for a while and then dropped him without ever looking back. My desires and feelings were all I considered as a teen.

I didn’t know how devastating a break-up could be until I married a Mr. Wrong at age eighteen and experienced a painful divorce at age 20. It was only then that I could look back and relate to the pain I had caused others to suffer. It’s never fun when the person being hurt is you.

Break-ups are hard on everyone involved and are nothing new. I remember a song that was popular when I was a teenager. It was first released in 1962, and then a slower version came out around 1975. Both versions were a huge success, which rarely happens. Maybe this song was so popular because people could relate to the message. I think it remains just as relatable in 2012. See if you agree after viewing the video at the top of this post. (The song, Breaking Up is Hard to Do, is sung by Neil Sedaka, the original recording artist.)

Did you notice the video (apparently from another country) had subtitles? Reading along, we see that the girl isn’t dating the boy she’s with in the car. Apparently, he is her neighbor, giving her a ride there. But because she is having a hard time with a breakup (did you see her duck in the car?), she drags this neighbor boy into the party just to make her old boyfriend jealous, to show him that she is fine without him now. She simply uses this new boy (calling him darling and hanging on to his arm) in order to hurt her old boyfriend.

True to Hollywood form, however, as this girl begins dancing with her neighbor (temporary fake boyfriend), she starts to realize that maybe she likes him better anyway. The video ends with the words a new love… a new beginning… It illustrates the mentality prevalent in our society: jump from one relationship into another, hoping it will turn out better for you this time.

But I want you girls to think differently. To think bigger than just what might be good for you only. God wants you to think of the other person, toobefore entering a dating relationship.

Don’t be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

There is so much more we could talk about, but hopefully, today’s post has you thinking…Continue reading Julia’s story in novel 2 and you’ll see how she decides to handle the feelings of others in relationships. (It might surprise you!)

So proceed carefully, girls, knowing that someone else’s heart is involved, too!

Love you,

Barbara

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