Behind the Smile

24 Sep

Our blog helps us stay connected with our readers and address the needs and issues that today’s young women face. What about young men? Do they experience many of the same problems, insecurities, and fears in today’s society? Do they struggle with rejection, inferiority, or feelings of inadequacy? They’re much tougher than girls, right? Or has the world in which we live taught young men to hide their true feelings—to act like everything’s cool even when it’s not—to be ashamed to admit it when they are hurting? Does hiding pain make it go away? Or can it eventually cause someone to become dangerous to themselves and to others?

In novel 1 (Waiting for Mr. Right) Julia and Jay meet for the first time at a campus café. Seeing Julia’s alone, Jay joins her at her table, introduces himself, and skillfully counters the objections she’s previously stated about meeting him. Assuring her that he is a nice Christian guy, he asks Julia to please give him a chance and go out with him. Flattered and out of objections, Julia yields to his charm.

Yet the tall, handsome guy that Julia is about to date is not the confident, happy young man he appears to be (or the committed Christian he claims to be). That’s all an act. Inside, he is hurting—dealing with tons of loneliness and rejection. (In the novel, you see why that is.)

Meanwhile, Julia is young and inexperienced with guys. She believes whatever Jay tells her because 1) he is totally convincing and 2) she wants to believe him. So Julia doesn’t take time to find out anything about Jay’s life before meeting her. In fact, she doesn’t tell him anything about her own before coming to college. She is simply happy to have a boyfriend at last—someone to have some romantic fun with while away at school. But Jay is looking for much more. He’s looking for love to make up for his hurts and—as you see in the novel—is willing to do anything to keep her with him.

What can we learn from Julia?

To ask ourself some questions before jumping into a relationship. Questions like: Why rush to get romantically involved with someone I don’t know yet? Why not take my time and get to know this guy first, to see what he is really all about? (If he is as wonderful as you are hoping, time will reveal that great truth. If he’s not, time could spare you from a lot of unnecessary heartache!)

Another good question: Lord, is this relationship part of your plan for my life?
Because God’s plan for our life is the one that matters most.
It’s the one that has the most purpose and meaning—and is the most personally fulfilling.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Also, only God knows a person’s heart and what his real motives and intentions are (good or bad). He also knows the great (or not so great) person he will be down the road.

So continue to get close to your Heavenly Father. Learn to hear and trust His voice (through reading your Bible and spending time with Him in prayer.)

Then when Mr. Wrongs come your way (which they no doubt will), you won’t be fooled by any of them. And you’ll be ready to meet Mr. Right when the time is right!

Because I care,


photo credit


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